awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
