how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
