she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
