im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
