Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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