it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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