I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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