Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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