Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
this hospital has no fireball
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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