I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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