is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
