on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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