Plan B is the new Plan A
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
