The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
