The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
