when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
