I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
