gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
