We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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