He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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