at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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