Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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