you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I believe in your delicious
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