Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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