Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
