I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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