idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
