Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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