Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
