I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
