I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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