Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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