A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i will never coherently bang her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
