So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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