you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
