I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
