You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
