i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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