I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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