I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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