you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
