you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
