so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
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I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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