He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
