My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
