I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
