You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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