Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
