ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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