Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
