She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
