omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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