I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
