I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
