how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
