So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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