is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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