Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
