the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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