he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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