Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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