summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she told me i tasted like america
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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