You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
