Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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