Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
