Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
