It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
