Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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