somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
