I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
