I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
